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Marriage Comes By Faith

Note: This article features the transcript of the message Pastor Stephen gave at the wedding celebration of Nik and Ashley Willingham on August 6th, 2023, who were privately married earlier that summer.

Today is a day of promises. It is a day when Nik and Ashley come together before you, before God, and before each other to be publicly reminded of the promises they made when they were privately married on June 11th.

Marriage at its core consists of two people living by faith in the vows of their union. When the sicknesses do come–when the poor times come–all marriages inevitably face moments when vows cannot be fulfilled on feelings alone, but instead by faith in remembrance of the commitment to those promises.

So, it is fitting that marriage be made up of promises, because it is with promises that God also establishes His relationship with us. The covenants of God were spiritual contracts given to people like Abraham, Moses, David, and the people of Israel. Unlike other gods, the God of the Bible did not demand religious rituals to gain a relationship with Him. He simply asked for faith in His promises. This is why the Apostle Paul could say in Romans 4:3 that, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness.”

Marriage, then, is a picture of the Gospel, in that it is a relationship founded on faith in mutual promises between two people—not just faith that the other person will keep their promises—but also faith that you yourself will keep the promises of marriage even when it does not present immediate benefit or goes against what the world or your feelings tell you. As Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the conviction of things unseen…” In marriage, that sometimes includes love unseen.

Although God’s promises were unwavering, that did not mean that the people’s faith was unwavering. Again and again, the Old Testament shows God’s people drifting to unbelief. Again and again, God remedies their lack of faith with the same solution: reminding them of His covenant. After Abraham lied to Pharoah about his wife Sarah, God re-gave Abraham the covenant (Gen. 15:1-5). When Moses doubted God at the burning bush, God reminded him of His promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob (Ex. 3:15-17). The book of Deuteronomy (whose name means “second law”) is a re-giving of God’s promises to the Israelites before they entered the promised land. In Joshua 8, the people gather on Mount Ebal and Mount Gerazim to reaffirm the covenant. In 2 Kings 23, King Josiah—only 8 years old–after discovering the scroll of Deuteronomy, gathers all of Judah to have it read to them and to be reminded of God’s promises. In Nehemiah 9 when the Jews returned from exile, they gathered to reaffirm God’s covenant. On the road to Emmaus, the resurrected Lord reminded two despairing disciples of all the promises concerning the Messiah (Lk. 23:13-27).

The feasts, the sacrifices—they all reminded God’s people of God’s covenant. One might even consider the Bible itself as one rousing choral round, repeating over and over again the promises of God. This is because a relationship with God can only come by faith in God’s promises, and as Paul wrote in Romans 10:17, faith comes by hearing. 

So that is why we are gathered here today. To hear. To hear from Nik and Ashley as they recommit their marriage covenant to each other, and most of all, for Nik and Ashley to hear each other recommit to that marriage covenant. Nothing mystical will happen today. This ceremony alone cannot produce a good marriage any more than the feasts and sacrifices of the Old Testament could produce a right relationship with God on their own. But like those feasts and sacrifices, this wedding will serve as a tool to point to the promises which by faith these two people—and all married people—will need to be reminded of, to trust in, and to persist in, as they as husbands and wives grow in love for each other. 

All this culminates in one strikingly beautiful truth: marriage is a tool that God gives to teach us how to know and trust Him. It is the closest thing unsaved people ever experience to a heavenly relationship, which is why they worship it so much. We love true love because true love is a creation of our Creator. It reminds us of the love that we were inherently designed for, a love between us and the One who formed us, a love where we know Him fully, just as we are fully known. 

This true love between God and us, like this marriage between Nik and Ashley, can only occur by faith—but not just faith in wedding vows or Old Testaments covenants, but now faith in the covenants of God made flesh: Jesus Christ, who like a good husband served sacrificially, even to the point of death, so that, just as a good wife submits to her husband, we also by faith might submit to Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.

This will not be the last wedding you attend. Someday in Heaven, there will be a final wedding feast, one between Christ as the Groom, and the Church as His bride. As the angel says in Revelation 19:9: “Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.”

I look forward to that wedding, where we will one more time be reminded of all of God’s good promises to His people, and where perhaps we will also be reminded of all good weddings—even this one—and the vows made between two imperfect people, and how by faith they pointed to a perfect God.

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